Recently I heard a podcast saying: people suffer in relationships because they give trust to those who haven't earned it yet.
Everyone likes hanging out with people who have great jobs, excel academically, are wealthy—hoping to get introductions, learn from them, or simply get invited to fancy restaurants. That's social instinct, nothing wrong with it.
The mistake is expecting too soon.
- They've never introduced you to anyone valuable, you still wait.
- They've never taught you how to study, even guided you wrong, you still believe.
- They've never bought you even a glass of water, you still think they'll be generous.
They're not wrong. But those expectations are what disappoint you.
What did Tea learn?
- Wait for "actions" before giving points. Count by what they've done, not by the halo they possess.
- Trust comes with limits. Initially, trust in small, verifiable things.
- Give but don't "bind yourself". Be friendly, sincere—but let them build trust through their own actions.
When expectations are placed correctly, you can still enjoy beautiful relationships without feeling let down by things you imagined yourself.