Recently I heard a podcast saying: people suffer in relationships because they give trust to those who haven't earned it yet.
Everyone likes hanging out with people who have great jobs, excel academically, are wealthy-hoping to get introductions, learn from them, or simply get invited to fancy restaurants. That's social instinct, nothing wrong with it.
The mistake is expecting too soon.
- They've never introduced you to anyone valuable, you still wait.
- They've never taught you how to study, even guided you wrong, you still believe.
- They've never bought you even a glass of water, you still think they'll be generous.
They're not wrong. But those expectations are what disappoint you.
What did Tea learn?
- Wait for "actions" before giving points. Count by what they've done, not by the halo they possess.
- Trust comes with limits. Initially, trust in small, verifiable things.
- Give but don't "bind yourself". Be friendly, sincere-but let them build trust through their own actions.
When expectations are placed correctly, you can still enjoy beautiful relationships without feeling let down by things you imagined yourself.